remember, ida....( " ,)

18th April 2006

nothing beats bein in a gurl's school...esp Sri Aman...oh yeah....love those times....n nothing is more sweeter than to have close frends (n also close enemies....hahahaah...the drama)...one good thing (out of the many 'notty things' hahaah) that i've gotten form sri aman...is pureGold frendship...n it was (n still is) form a gurl name ida.

first time i met her was when i was in form 3....we were in the same class n she sat next to me..ida ni known for bein "the in thing" as for me...mmmm i was the "full attendance, gurl in the front seat aka N to tha E to tha R to tha D" gurl....tapi she was no ordinary(or should i say typical) sri aman gurl... one thing about her is makin her laugh...the stupidest jokes (mostLy which involves melted chocs n things that come out from an ass...hahahaha...remember ida) r those that make her laugh the loudest........

n it didnt just end there....remember the afternoon calls...gossip -bitchin about just evrything...as if we've never met in days...or will never meet again...hahaha...then the weekends we had kat one utama..remember we use to wear docs martin?....gosh it was the in thing back then kan....

remember the school pic the three of us took?...kelakar kan..out of all the places..behind some block..in our baju kurungs....hehehe....

then i left for UUM...remember the letters we use to send to each other...funny thing was both our mums thought something fishy was goin between us...hahaha.....ntah ape2 kan the things we wrote....about whts happenning in our lives...whts it like living in the north..hahaha.....(u know i still keep them)

those were the days...

though now i dunt call u eDay...nor write to u ...tho now sms is just a finger away.... n emails outcast letters....n doc martin's has gone out of fashion....

im glad me n u never changed, ida.
hope it never will.

mmuahs.
cheers!

seindah bunga pertama...

10 April 2006

setelah lama kau menghilang....
tiba-tiba sahaja...dalam kesibukan masa ini..
kau muncul semula...

sudah lusuh rupamu....sudah tidak bermaya..
jika aku tidak menghimpitmu dulu...mungkin sudah lelah hancur dihirup masa...
tiba-tiba sahaja....dalam kesepian hati ini....
kau muncul semula...

ngapa aku terlupa untuk membuangMu...
ngapa aku terleka meletak mu di situ...
ngapa seketika ku ingat semua...
ngapa sedih menyelubugi semula..

ish ish ...bunga pertama*

(* at PD BBQ Nite, i was asked to sing 'eThing i do i do it for u', he gave me that rose. kept it over nite.next day went to a printing shop n asked to laminate it. the dude working there looked at me one way, but did just exactly that. i was even willing to pay back, u know if... of a sudden the laminate machine jammed because of the rose.....mmmmmmm.....split second there allias, i miss u.....(uWekkk...not!)

C h e e r s !

(thinkin aloud- to forgive is allowed....but never to forget....just keep it to remind...of my one favMistake...)

at 1am...

6th april 2006

i cant sleep..my body is tired of a day at work, an hour of bowling n 30 minutes of elping out a flat tyre (unny u did the rest dear...all i wanted to do is tighten them bolts...or whtever u call it...hehe)..im tired ..but i cant sleep...

i cant think straight...my mind needs the rest...but i'm thinkin of him...of u....then him again....gosh....am i missin u?....why do i bother if she does come back to you?...and why do i love him?...or do i?....is this for real....he cant be there forever...but u might...but am i what u're looking for?...am i missin u?....me n my stupid assumptions....then my stupid imaginations...then my forever-ness im looking for...ish ish...why do i open my heart to such matters?...why do i inflict pain eTime i feel the purity n honesty of loving some one ....of missin someOne...what i think n wht i say...more often than most...just keep hurting eOne.....then somehow just hurts me...how long can i care about u?...how long can i wait for him?...i keep sayin sorry....i keep thinkin things will go my way...but im stuck....and i might just be stuck here...for a little while...cause as much as i hate bein tangled in confusion...i'd rather (b)* ...than anything else...

i cant breath calmLy...exhale inhale is cunfusing in my system....sometimes its soothing..but mostLy...mmmmm...im not sure....i breath it like forever....then like a sudden drop....it feels like eThing just stops....then there comes breathLess moments....which comes n go...wit those time i just want to cry....

i feel twisted and wasted....u may say im fine ...i may look fine....i am fine....i am me...but i do feel twisted....n most times wasted....
especially now

at 1am..
mornin is comin...again iLL b alrite...
dunt ask what came over me. k?

cheers!

-JK, i miss u dearLy...where r u?